Depression: How to Exist When Existing Feels Like Too Much

Depression is often misunderstood as just feeling sad, but anyone who has experienced it knows it's more complex and more consuming than that. It shows up as exhaustion, irritability, numbness, lack of motivation, even physical aches and pains.  It can make the simplest tasks feel overwhelming and what you once found meaningful just feels…pointless.  It's too much. Your bucket is empty.

Managing depression isn’t about flipping a switch or “thinking positive,” although being intentional and curious about your thoughts can be a helpful part of the process. Managing depression isn’t doing any one thing; it’s doing many small things.   It’s about filling up your bucket one drop at a time.

The first drop in your bucket…

One of the biggest traps with depression is waiting to feel better before doing anything.  Unfortunately, depression doesn’t work that way.  Action comes before motivation; sometimes you have to do the thing you feel most resistant to.  

Instead of asking yourself, “Do I feel like doing this?” Try “What’s one small thing I can do anyway?”  Getting moving can lead to more action and also gives you a sense of accomplishment.  

The second drop in your bucket…

Depression distorts effort.  Things feel bigger, heavier, harder, more complicated than they are.  The workaround is to reduce the size of the task, not find more energy to exert.  Instead of facing the task of cleaning the house, for example, change the task to putting away 5 items.  Instead of responding to your emails, respond to one email.  Small successes and accomplishments are what build momentum.  

The next drop…

When your mood drops, structure often goes with it.  A lack of structure makes it hard to feel regulated.  Creating a flexible daily schedule can help to stabilize your system.  Wake up and go to bed at the same time.  Eat regularly even if your appetite is low (remember reducing the task; instead of eating a whole meal, simply eat a snack.)  Build in at least one nonnegotiable, like taking a shower or stepping outside of the house.  You don’t need a rigid routine, but you and your body need some predictability. 

A rather big drop for your bucket.

Depression feeds on avoidance; you feel low, you withdraw, life shrinks, you feel worse, you withdraw even more.  It doesn't take long before you feel completely alone.  Breaking this loop requires doing things that don’t immediately feel rewarding.  It may feel flat at first but that doesn't mean it’s not working.  Here again is where we look for momentum, not drastic change.  This means answering a message, going for a walk, engaging in something you used to care about for even a short amount of time.  

How many drops have you added?

Depression changes how you interpret everything.  Information is filtered through your feelings, which means that your thoughts sometimes flat out lie to you.  Common thought patterns include “nothing will help.”  “I’m a burden.”  “This will never change.”  These thoughts feel true, but they are symptoms, not facts.  Instead of arguing with these thoughts, try labeling them.  “This is a depression thought.”  Ask yourself what you might say to a friend who has these kinds of thoughts.  Creating distance from your thoughts can reduce their power.  And creating compassion for yourself can take the hard edge off these lies. 

One more drop.

Isolation feeds depression; it makes it stronger.  The tricky part is that depression also makes you want to isolate.  You don’t need deep conversations or big social plans to feel connection.  Sit near other people in a coffee shop, text one person, spend time next to someone with no agenda or pressure to talk. Connection doesn’t have to be intense or planned to be effective. And each connection point is one more drop. 

Another drop.

Depression is not just emotional; it’s also physiological.  Supporting your body can shift your mood baseline over time. Aim for consistent sleep.  Engage in some kind of movement; even light activity helps regulate mood.  Eat healthy; regular meals stabilize energy and brain function.  Get a bit of sunlight; exposure helps regulate body rhythms.  None of these are quick fixes, but together they matter.  They are all drops in your bucket.

A final drop.

Give yourself credit when credit is due! One of the most frustrating parts of managing depression is that improvement is often slow and subtle. Pay attention to the little things. One day you may get out of bed a little quicker, you may feel slightly less overwhelmed in a familiar situation, you may recover a little bit faster from low moments, you may catch yourself smiling.  Notice these moments!  They are easy to dismiss, but they are changes and they are meaningful and they build momentum. 

You don’t need to solve everything all at once to live with depression. That feels like too much. But you can interrupt the cycle one drop in the bucket at a time. 

Your Dog Is Not Your Therapist… But They Are Helping

For many people, a dog is more than a pet—they are a steady presence, a source of comfort, and a relationship that supports mental and emotional well‑being. While dogs are not a substitute for therapy or medication, research consistently shows that meaningful relationships with dogs can positively support mental health in ways that are both psychological and physiological.

As a therapist, I often see how the human–dog bond provides grounding, routine, and connection—especially for people navigating anxiety, depression, grief, trauma, burnout, or loneliness.

Below is what the science actually tells us—without romanticizing pet ownership or overselling its benefits.

"There is no psychiatrist in the world like a puppy licking your face."

— Ben Williams

Dogs and Emotional Regulation

One of the most well‑documented benefits of interacting with dogs is improved emotional regulation. Spending time with a dog—petting, talking, or playing—has been shown to increase oxytocin (a hormone associated with bonding and calm) while decreasing cortisol, the body’s primary stress hormone.

These physiological shifts are associated with:

• Reduced anxiety

• Improved mood

• Lower physiological stress responses

Importantly, these benefits don’t require a dog to perform tasks or “fix” anything. The calm often comes simply from safe, non‑judgmental presence.

A Therapy Room Example: How Hattie Brings Her Personality Into Healing

At our practice, we’re lucky to have Hattie—a therapy dog whose presence quietly embodies many of the mental health benefits research describes.

Hattie doesn’t perform tricks or follow a script in session. She brings her personality. And somehow, that’s exactly what people need.

She often enters the therapy room slowly, taking a moment to sniff the air as if she’s checking in with the emotional tone before deciding where to land. Sometimes she settles at a client’s feet with a dramatic sigh that gently invites everyone to exhale. Other times, when the room feels heavy or words are hard to find, she scoots closer and rests her head on a knee—grounding without interruption, offering connection without demand.

Hattie seems to sense when intensity is rising. When clients are anxious or unsure, she’ll stretch out across the floor, roll onto her back, or glance up with an expression that often leads to laughter—an organic break in tension that helps nervous systems reset. She reminds us that regulation doesn’t only happen through insight; it also happens through presence, warmth, and play.

What Hattie does best is stay. She doesn’t rush emotions or try to make them smaller. She offers steady companionship that allows people to soften, which often makes it easier to access vulnerability, self‑compassion, and reflection. In those moments, it becomes clear why research shows that dogs can support emotional regulation, reduce stress responses, and increase feelings of safety and connection.

Hattie doesn’t replace therapy—but she reinforces something essential: healing happens in relationships where we feel safe enough to be fully ourselves. Sometimes that relationship includes a dog who knows exactly when to lean in—and when to simply lie nearby and be still.

Anxiety, Depression, and Stress Buffering

Research during high‑stress periods—such as the COVID‑19 pandemic—found that dog owners reported lower depression scores and greater perceived social support compared to people who wanted dogs but did not yet own one.

Dogs appear to help buffer stress through several mechanisms:

• Providing consistent companionship

• Offering physical touch and grounding

• Interrupting rumination through engagement and routine

That said, large‑scale reviews show that dog ownership does not automatically reduce depression for everyone. Instead, benefits appear strongest when the relationship quality with the dog is high and perceived as supportive rather than burdensome.

Structure, Purpose, and Daily Rhythm

For individuals struggling with depression, ADHD, or burnout, dogs often provide gentle external structure—a reason to wake up, move the body, and engage with the day.

Daily tasks such as feeding, walking, or training a dog can:

• Increase physical activity

• Reinforce daily routines

• Restore a sense of purpose and responsibility

Research links dog ownership with increased movement and improved mood—both of which are protective for mental health.

Loneliness and Social Connection

Dogs can also act as social bridges. Dog owners often experience increased social interaction—whether through walking neighborhoods, visiting parks, or casual conversations with other dog owners.

Studies consistently associate dog companionship with reduced loneliness and improved perceived social support, particularly for individuals who live alone or are socially isolated.

Trauma, Safety, and Attachment

For some individuals—especially those with trauma histories—dogs offer a felt sense of safety that can be difficult to access in human relationships alone.

Research suggests that strong emotional bonds with dogs may correlate with lower anxiety and depression, particularly among individuals with adverse childhood experiences.

However, it’s also important to acknowledge complexity:

• Strong attachment can increase anticipatory grief

• Care demands can increase stress if resources are limited

• Dogs do not replace human relational repair or trauma therapy

Healthy benefit comes from mutual regulation, not emotional over‑reliance.

Emotional Support and Therapy Contexts

Animal‑assisted interventions—including therapy dogs—have demonstrated positive effects on mood, anxiety, and stress reduction in clinical and educational settings.

Emotional support animals (ESAs) are not service animals, but research suggests they can assist with:

• Emotional grounding

• Mood stabilization

• Decreased isolation

When integrated ethically and appropriately, animals can complement—not replace—evidence‑based mental health care.

A Balanced Clinical Perspective

Dogs can be powerful mental health companions—but they are not a universal solution. The benefits depend on:

• Individual capacity and resources

• Temperament and needs of the dog

• Support systems in place

• Relationship quality between human and animal

When the connection is mutual, supported, and sustainable, dogs can offer something deeply therapeutic: consistent presence without expectation—a quiet regulator in an overstimulated world.

References

• American Psychological Association. (2024). Pets can help reduce anxiety. [apa.org]

• Martin, F., et al. (2021). Depression, anxiety, and happiness in dog owners. PLOS ONE. [journals.plos.org]

• Moshfeghinia, R., et al. (2025). Pet ownership and risk of depression: A meta‑analysis. Annals of General Psychiatry. [pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]

• Merkouri, A. M., et al. (2022). Dogs and the good life. Frontiers in Psychology. [frontiersin.org]

• Powell, A. (2024). Loving your pup may be a many‑splendored thing. Harvard Gazette. [news.harvard.edu]

• Peel, N., et al. (2023). Impact of therapy dogs on student mood. International Journal of Environmental Research and Public Health. [pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov]

• University of Utah Health. (2025). How therapy dogs support mental health. [healthcare.utah.edu]

• PositivePsychology.com. (2024). How emotional support animals promote mental health. [positiveps...hology.com]

When Joy Feels Out of Reach: Understanding Anhedonia

Have you ever noticed that things you used to enjoy just don’t feel the same anymore? Maybe your favorite foods taste flat, time with friends feels draining instead of fulfilling, or activities that once brought excitement now feel empty. If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and there’s a name for this experience: anhedonia.

What Is Anhedonia?

Anhedonia is the reduced or lost ability to experience pleasure from activities that are typically enjoyable. It’s most commonly associated with depression, but it can also occur in people experiencing anxiety, PTSD, substance use disorders, eating disorders, autism spectrum disorder, schizophrenia, or certain neurological conditions. Importantly, anhedonia can also occur without a formal diagnosis of depression.

Rather than sadness, many people describe anhedonia as emotional numbness—a sense of being disconnected from joy, motivation, or meaning.

Types of Anhedonia

Anhedonia can show up differently for different people, but it’s often described in two main ways:

• Social anhedonia: Difficulty experiencing pleasure or connection from social interactions, relationships, or group activities.

• Physical anhedonia: Reduced pleasure from physical sensations such as eating, physical touch, listening to music, or sexual activity.

Someone may experience one type, both types, or move between them over time.

Anhedonia vs. Apathy: What’s the Difference?

These two terms are often confused, but they’re not the same:

• Anhedonia refers to an inability to feel pleasure, even when you want to.

• Apathy refers to a lack of motivation, interest, or emotional engagement.

You might still want connection or enjoyment but not be able to feel it (anhedonia), or you might feel indifferent about engaging at all (apathy). A person can experience one without the other.

Common Signs of Anhedonia

Symptoms can range from subtle to deeply impactful and may include:

• Reduced interest in activities you previously enjoyed

• Difficulty planning or initiating activities

• Little excitement or anticipation about future events

• Trouble feeling joy, even during positive moments

• Decreased pleasure from food, physical touch, or sex

• Social withdrawal or disconnection

• Feeling lonely even when surrounded by others

If you recognize yourself in this list, it’s important to know that anhedonia is not a personal failure. It often reflects how the brain and nervous system respond to prolonged stress, trauma, or emotional overload.

Therapy Treatment Options

Anhedonia is treatable, though improvement often happens gradually.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
  CBT can help stimulate the brain’s reward system by identifying patterns that reduce engagement and gently rebuilding responses to positive experiences.

• Behavioral Activation Therapy
  This approach focuses on increasing involvement in meaningful or value‑based activities—even when motivation or pleasure is low—to help reawaken positive emotional responses over time.

• Mindfulness‑Based Interventions
  Mindfulness practices can help people notice small moments of presence, comfort, or neutrality and reduce avoidance of emotional experiences. These approaches have been helpful for people with chronic stress, trauma histories, and substance use recovery.

Things You Can Try on Your Own

Healing from anhedonia often involves small, compassionate steps rather than big emotional shifts. You might consider:

• Practicing mindfulness to gently notice moments of neutrality or comfort

• Maintaining social connections, even when you don’t feel like it

• Establishing a regular sleep schedule and predictable daily routine

• Engaging in regular physical movement

• Keeping a brief journal of small, positive, or meaningful moments

• Being patient with yourself and acknowledging tiny improvements

• Joining support groups where others understand what you’re experiencing

• Seeking guidance from a therapist, coach, or trusted mentor to explore how you respond to stress and negative experiences

A Gentle Reminder

If you’re experiencing anhedonia, it doesn’t mean joy is gone forever. It means your system may need care, time, and support. You don’t have to force yourself to “feel better” to move toward healing.

If this resonates with you, a mental health professional can help you explore what’s happening and find a path forward that feels manageable and supportive.

References & Further Reading

• Cleveland Clinic. (2023). Anhedonia: What it is, causes, symptoms & treatment.
  https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/symptoms/25155-anhedonia

• WebMD. (2025). Anhedonia: Meaning, types, causes, and treatment.
  https://www.webmd.com/depression/what-is-anhedonia

• Serretti, A. (2023). Anhedonia and depressive disorders. Clinical Psychopharmacology and Neuroscience, 21(3), 401–409.
  https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10335915/

• Psychology Today. (n.d.). Anhedonia.
  https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/anhedonia

• Hanuka, S., et al. (2023). Reduced anhedonia following cognitive‑behavioral therapy is mediated by enhanced reward circuit activation. Psychological Medicine.
  https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/psychological-medicine/article/abs/reduced-anhedonia-following-internetbased-cognitivebehavioral-therapy-for-depression-is-mediated-by-enhanced-reward-circuit-activation/B9806BEDB39FD3A4D60DCE12DF2C5AAB

We Are Growing! Meet Our New Counselors

We Are Growing! Meet Our New Counselors

2020 has been a very challenging year for the mental health of our community. Mental Health America reports that anxiety and depression rates have increased at an alarming pace, self harm and suicide are on the rise, people are struggling more with isolation and loneliness, and rates of anxiety, depression, and suicidal ideation are increasing for people of all races and ethnicities. Numbers demonstrate that from January through September, pandemic enduring youth ages 11-17 have been more likely than any other age group to report moderate to severe symptoms of anxiety and depression and have the highest rates of suicidal ideation, especially LGBTQ+ youth. The number of youth reaching out for help is also increasing. Black or African Americans report the highest average percent change over time for anxiety and depression, while Indigenous Americans have had the highest average percent change over time for suicidal ideation.

We are very excited to announce that two seasoned counselors have joined our practice! Our hope is that we are able to support even more people who are struggling during the pandemic through this expansion, especially youth, families, and adults.

Erica Ray, M.Ed., LCPC

Erica Ray, M.Ed., LCPC, earned her Master of Arts in Education, School Counseling, from The University of Akron. She brings to our practice her experience with counseling in a school setting, developing wilderness experiences for at risk youth, therapeutic boarding school programming, collaborating with the Department of Child and Family Services, and has training in Trauma Focused CBT. Her client areas of focus are school aged children, teens, and adults. She has full time hours available to see clients.

Jayshree Panchal, MA, LCPC

Jayshree Panchal, MA, LCPC, graduated from Bradley University with a Master of Arts in Human Development Counseling. She brings many years of experience counseling adolescents, college students, and adults. She uses trauma informed approaches to treat grief and loss, improve relationships, assist with college preparation, and enhance career development.  She has practiced in many settings, including schools, career centers, hospital units, and community mental health. She is practicing with us part time on evenings and weekends.

Please join us in celebrating this milestone for our practice. We know it is harder right now to find a counselor who is taking new clients because of the pandemic increasing the demand for services. If you are interested in scheduling a counseling session for yourself or your child, give us a call today at 309-713-1485 or email info@summitfamily.net.